Computer Support Queries

These "silly tech support calls " have been around in
e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support.  

They are always fun to read.  I'm in the mood for a
good laugh.  How 'bout you? 


**********


Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out. 
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? 

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. 
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a
note. 

Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it
yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry.... 


**********


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? 
Female customer: A white one... 

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to
the left of the screen. 
Customer:  Your left or my left? 


**********


Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? 
Male customer: Hello... I can't print. 

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates. 


**********


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find
it...   


**********


Customer: I have problems printing in red... 
Tech support: Do you have a color printer? 

Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you. 


**********


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? 
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at
the 7-11. 


**********


Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore. 
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the
computer? 

Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer. 
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces
back 

Customer:  OK 

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? 
Customer: Yes 

Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged
in. Is there another keyboard? 
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one
does work... 


**********


Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as
in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number
7. 
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? 


**********


Customer: I can't get on the Internet. 
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right
password? 

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. 
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? 

Customer: Five stars. 


**********

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? 
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. 
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. 


**********


Customer:  I have a huge problem. A friend has placed
a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move
the mouse, it disappears. 


**********


Tech support: How may I help you? 
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. 

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? 
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the circle around it?   


**********


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a
problem with her printer. 
Tech support: Are you running it under windows? 

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that
is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next
to me is under a window, and his printer is working
fine."   


**********


And last but not least... 


Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task
list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter
"P" to bring up the Program Manager" 
Customer: I don't have a P. 

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. 
Customer: What do you mean? 

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. 
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! 






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